There should be lots of touching and teasing
Expert view
This works really well. “Women love to be teased during sex,” says Pria Taneja, a researcher on the Kama Sutra at the University of London. A favourite technique is to gently insert just the tip of the penis at the moment of penetration. “Insert it incredibly slowly, drawing back a bit and going in a little further each time,” recommends Taneja. “Withdrawing it completely is too cruel. If you want her to beg, this is probably the best way of going about it.”
Whether you tease with penis or fingers depends on how excited she is. “Begin with a finger tease, and move on to using your penis when she’s really wet,” adds Taneja. To titillate with your digits, use two fingers to stimulate both sides of the clitoris without actually touching it.
Women’s view
Lata, 29: “We like that. Particularly the ‘gently inserting the penis and then slightly withdrawing’ technique— that’s a real turn-on and leaves you aching for it.”
Karen, 33: “I love being teased and I love teasing—it makes sex much more exciting. My boyfriend teases me mercilessly and that ‘dipping in and dipping out’ thing is guaranteed to leave you ready for the action.”
Verdict
Tease ruthlessly.
When to try? Any time.
This works really well. “Women love to be teased during sex,” says Pria Taneja, a researcher on the Kama Sutra at the University of London. A favourite technique is to gently insert just the tip of the penis at the moment of penetration. “Insert it incredibly slowly, drawing back a bit and going in a little further each time,” recommends Taneja. “Withdrawing it completely is too cruel. If you want her to beg, this is probably the best way of going about it.”
Whether you tease with penis or fingers depends on how excited she is. “Begin with a finger tease, and move on to using your penis when she’s really wet,” adds Taneja. To titillate with your digits, use two fingers to stimulate both sides of the clitoris without actually touching it.
Women’s view
Lata, 29: “We like that. Particularly the ‘gently inserting the penis and then slightly withdrawing’ technique— that’s a real turn-on and leaves you aching for it.”
Karen, 33: “I love being teased and I love teasing—it makes sex much more exciting. My boyfriend teases me mercilessly and that ‘dipping in and dipping out’ thing is guaranteed to leave you ready for the action.”
Verdict
Tease ruthlessly.
When to try? Any time.
Constantly change your positions
Expert view
Though you may not change your sexual position too often in one bout of lovemaking, here’s one reason why you should consider it. “Changing position is the best way to make sure you don’t come too quickly,” says Taneja. It also keeps the whole thing interesting. Added bonus: You’ll work more muscles in your body with the most entertaining workout ever!
Women’s view
Drishti, 27: “It’s something you do in the early stages of a relationship to fi nd out how to fit best sex with each other. But you can have the best sex in just one or two positions.”
Anna, 23: “A maximum of three positions is enough for me during one session, so go easy. I’m single and recently had a one-night stand where he wanted me in more positions than in the Kama Sutra. It was as if he was trying too hard to impress me.”
Verdict
Keep to a maximum of three positions a session.
When to try? Any time.
Though you may not change your sexual position too often in one bout of lovemaking, here’s one reason why you should consider it. “Changing position is the best way to make sure you don’t come too quickly,” says Taneja. It also keeps the whole thing interesting. Added bonus: You’ll work more muscles in your body with the most entertaining workout ever!
Women’s view
Drishti, 27: “It’s something you do in the early stages of a relationship to fi nd out how to fit best sex with each other. But you can have the best sex in just one or two positions.”
Anna, 23: “A maximum of three positions is enough for me during one session, so go easy. I’m single and recently had a one-night stand where he wanted me in more positions than in the Kama Sutra. It was as if he was trying too hard to impress me.”
Verdict
Keep to a maximum of three positions a session.
When to try? Any time.
Use gravity-defying bedroom acrobatics
Expert view
You could learn from Vatsayana, the Vedic philosopher who wrote the Kama Sutra and, legend has it, spent his childhood in a brothel where his favourite aunt worked. But don’t follow that too closely as it may require the kind of physical activity you’d usually wear padding for.
Good sex doesn’t necessarily mean putting your back out, but mimic the flexible positions and you’ll turn up the arousal factor. First, try the ‘stretch out’ position—have her lie flat on her back with legs straight up in the air and her knees together. Kneel facing her, with your legs spread wide on the bed. Enter her with her feet resting over your shoulders. Vary the leg manoeuvre when that becomes tiring.
Keep her lying on her back, but this time with one of her legs straight, and the other pulled in towards her chest. Straddle her straight leg and support yourself with an arm hooked into the crook of her bent knee. “By varying the position of the legs, you vary the sensation. It’ll also mean she gets lots of clitoral stimulation,” says Taneja. (PS: That’s a good thing!)
Women’s view
Payal, 36: “After being married a while you think it looks too much like hard work. Although I quite like the position where I rest my feet on his shoulder. It allows for deeper penetration.”
Monica, 26: “I like sex when my boyfriend picks me up and I wrap my legs around him—although a guy needs to be pretty strong to hold you there for longer than a few seconds.”
Verdict
Go for gold in carnal acrobatics.
When to try? After you’ve been having sex with her for at least a month.
Women like being on top during sex
Expert view
True, and always a great way to let her control the pace and activity. A survey found that ‘her on top’ was the most common way for women to achieve orgasm. For you, the sight of her full body can be the biggest turn-on. Women’s view
Kajal, 35: “It’s impossible to do it for more than a few seconds unless you’re a skilled athlete. I prefer sliding back and forth—it helps me reach orgasm faster.”
Sangeeta, 25: “Being on top is a great move. It’s fantastic to be in control and the orgasm is brilliant. You can slow the pace or go mad.”
Verdict
Lie back and look up!
When to try? Any time.
True, and always a great way to let her control the pace and activity. A survey found that ‘her on top’ was the most common way for women to achieve orgasm. For you, the sight of her full body can be the biggest turn-on. Women’s view
Kajal, 35: “It’s impossible to do it for more than a few seconds unless you’re a skilled athlete. I prefer sliding back and forth—it helps me reach orgasm faster.”
Sangeeta, 25: “Being on top is a great move. It’s fantastic to be in control and the orgasm is brilliant. You can slow the pace or go mad.”
Verdict
Lie back and look up!
When to try? Any time.
Women should dress for sex
Expert view
It’s true. “It stands up even today. But only in the safety of a trusting relationship,” says Taneja. “Then it allows us to feel uninhibited, and gives us a sense of power.”
To persuade her to slip into something naughty, you need to harness that trust. Tell her your fantasies, but don’t pressurise her to gratify them. Also give her an incentive. The more lavishly she treats this part, the more special she’ll feel wearing it. If you want her to repeat the gesture, reassure her you don’t think she’s cheap.
“Remember to give her something back in return,” advises Taneja. Try oral sex through titillating panties, before you rip them off. She’ll like the feel of damp fabric against her. “Then move the crotch to one side and continue. She’ll be holding your head in ecstasy.”
Women’s view
Rashmi, 31 : “For special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, I might put on something sexy for my husband, but on a day-today basis, it just wouldn’t be practical. When I do wear kinky clothes, I find myself feeling sexy and aroused.”
Aarti, 23: “I would never dress up in kinky clothes. Dressing up would have to be something that developed naturally between us and would have to be tasteful.”
Verdict
Suggest it, but at the right time—for instance, not during dinner with the in-laws.
When to try? After you’ve been having sex for at least six months.
It’s true. “It stands up even today. But only in the safety of a trusting relationship,” says Taneja. “Then it allows us to feel uninhibited, and gives us a sense of power.”
To persuade her to slip into something naughty, you need to harness that trust. Tell her your fantasies, but don’t pressurise her to gratify them. Also give her an incentive. The more lavishly she treats this part, the more special she’ll feel wearing it. If you want her to repeat the gesture, reassure her you don’t think she’s cheap.
“Remember to give her something back in return,” advises Taneja. Try oral sex through titillating panties, before you rip them off. She’ll like the feel of damp fabric against her. “Then move the crotch to one side and continue. She’ll be holding your head in ecstasy.”
Women’s view
Rashmi, 31 : “For special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries, I might put on something sexy for my husband, but on a day-today basis, it just wouldn’t be practical. When I do wear kinky clothes, I find myself feeling sexy and aroused.”
Aarti, 23: “I would never dress up in kinky clothes. Dressing up would have to be something that developed naturally between us and would have to be tasteful.”
Verdict
Suggest it, but at the right time—for instance, not during dinner with the in-laws.
When to try? After you’ve been having sex for at least six months.
Women can be aroused by another woman
Expert view
The Kama Sutra has more than three chapters dedicated to dealing with the women around you, and this may well be true. But again, this differs from woman to woman, and also for the same woman at different times, depending on her level of arousal. If you don’t think she’ll react favourably when you bring another girl home for a ménage a trios, compromise. Suggest sex against a full length mirror. It’ll give the illusion of a threesome, without making her paranoid about your feelings.
Women’s view
Manisha, 24: “I wouldn’t actually want a threesome but it is a fantasy for me. I’ve never tried it with a woman but I wouldn’t mind as long as it was just a private thing. I wouldn’t want anyone else to watch.”
Sophia, 27: “The thought of it turns me on more than I know the reality would. I have slept with girlfriends and kissed them before but it’s more of an affection thing rather than a sexual one.”
Verdict
Suggest it when she’s feeling most kinky.
When to try? After you’ve been having sex for at least a year.
The Kama Sutra has more than three chapters dedicated to dealing with the women around you, and this may well be true. But again, this differs from woman to woman, and also for the same woman at different times, depending on her level of arousal. If you don’t think she’ll react favourably when you bring another girl home for a ménage a trios, compromise. Suggest sex against a full length mirror. It’ll give the illusion of a threesome, without making her paranoid about your feelings.
Women’s view
Manisha, 24: “I wouldn’t actually want a threesome but it is a fantasy for me. I’ve never tried it with a woman but I wouldn’t mind as long as it was just a private thing. I wouldn’t want anyone else to watch.”
Sophia, 27: “The thought of it turns me on more than I know the reality would. I have slept with girlfriends and kissed them before but it’s more of an affection thing rather than a sexual one.”
Verdict
Suggest it when she’s feeling most kinky.
When to try? After you’ve been having sex for at least a year.
Women should pleasure themselves in front of you
Expert view
Phew, this may be true too. Your lady could be keener for you to watch her play with herself than you think. It’s a way of teaching your man what you like, and the way you like it done: hard, soft, up or down. The key is helping her overcome her inhibitions. Ask her to show you so she’s firmly in your memory when you’re at work or away from home. It’ll convince her she’s the only one for you. Women’s view
Noor, 27: “He can learn from you if you masturbate and touch yourself in front of him, but you have to be pretty selfconfident to do it, otherwise you feel silly.”
Abha, 24: “I would have to know him well enough to do this in front of him But I quite enjoy doing it for my boyfriend because it makes him go gaga so much that it turns me on too.”
Verdict
Persuade her gently and don’t use comparison (“My friend’s girl does it for him!”)
When to try? After you’ve been having sex for at least eight months.
Phew, this may be true too. Your lady could be keener for you to watch her play with herself than you think. It’s a way of teaching your man what you like, and the way you like it done: hard, soft, up or down. The key is helping her overcome her inhibitions. Ask her to show you so she’s firmly in your memory when you’re at work or away from home. It’ll convince her she’s the only one for you. Women’s view
Noor, 27: “He can learn from you if you masturbate and touch yourself in front of him, but you have to be pretty selfconfident to do it, otherwise you feel silly.”
Abha, 24: “I would have to know him well enough to do this in front of him But I quite enjoy doing it for my boyfriend because it makes him go gaga so much that it turns me on too.”
Verdict
Persuade her gently and don’t use comparison (“My friend’s girl does it for him!”)
When to try? After you’ve been having sex for at least eight months.
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