Is money costing your love life?

Take this quiz to find out if money threatens your relationship...!

How do your earnings compare?
A: Only one of us works
B: One earns considerably more than the other
C: We earn similar amounts.

Financial flashpoint
A big difference in earnings can trigger problems if one half of the partnership uses their extra financial clout to call the shots. Sometimes the cash-rich partner believes they should have more sway on decisions, causing the other partner to feel sidelined.

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Equality in a relationship shouldn't be conditional. Each partner should have equal say, regardless of how much they earn. Explain that you need to be equally involved in decisions because your life is equally affected.




How do you plan for lifestyle changes?
A: We take them as they come
B: We have general plans but nothing too detailed
C: We talk about it, covering every aspect thoroughly.

Financial flashpoint
If you're used to earning your own money, suddenly having to ask your partner for a new accessory could cause resentment. And if the earning partner feels resentful about the lower or non-earner's lifestyle, he or she may become heavy-handed with the purse strings.

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If you're going to be the dependent partner, agree in advance on a set amount of money to go into your account every month. Work out how much you'll need for basics plus a small amount for treats. This will avoid the humiliation of having to ask for money and prevent resentment build-up.


How often do you discuss money?
A: In times of crisis
B: About thrice a year
C: We have regular updates.

Financial flashpoint
A majority of couples find money harder to talk about than any other subject. Part of the reason is that we tend not to talk constructively about it. Overspending leads to guilt about having lost control, especially if others are affected. Also money matters can be complex and people are often embarrassed to admit that they've messed up.

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If you're thinking of taking out a loan or mortgage with a partner, find out how they handle money first. Do they clear their credit card bills every month or run them to the limit? If they're in debt, are they sticking to a realistic plan to pay it off? The key is to plan your finances and have regular updates to avoid shocks.


Have you ever lied to your partner about money?
A: Constantly — I daren't tell the truth.
B: Only the odd white lie.
C: Never — I have nothing to hide.

Financial flashpoint
In a recent survey, three out of ten couples admitted to lying about credit card spending. Not only do lies erode trust but covering them up can be stressful and costly. The problem comes when you go from knocking a few bucks off the price of a pair of shoes to a situation where you're spending lots of time - and possibly taking out further loans - to cover your tracks.

Sort it
If you're the secret spender, come clean now. The sooner a problem is out in the open, the quicker it can be dealt with. Meanwhile, expensive-looking "bargains" or an increasing amount of unopened mail could indicate financial infidelity in a partner. If necessary, get professional help.


How comfortable are you with how your partner handles money?
A: As comfortable as my bum is on a porcupine
B: Reasonably comfortable
C: I trust them with all my worldly goods.

Financial flashpoint
Different approaches to money needn't be a problem; what's more important is understanding what's behind your own attitude to money — as well as your partner's — in order to help communication.

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Think about what makes you tick financially. Most of us formed our money attitudes in childhood. For example, you might be a saver because money was tight when you were young and you need a certain amount now to feel secure. If you can't agree what to spend your money on, write down your goals for the next few years, what they would involve financially, then compromise and prioritise accordingly.

  

Scoring

Maximum A : Carry on this way and you could be heading for credit calamity. Give yourselves a money makeover. Set aside time to assess your finances thoroughly, discuss problems honestly and draw up realistic plans.

Maximum B : You're not scared of tackling money issues but you could benefit from more communication. Address any problems now and draw up financial goals, and decide what steps are needed to achieve them.

Maximum C : You may not be loaded yet but the future's promising. If you have debts, they're probably under control and you share financial concerns as they arise. With some careful planning you'll soon reap the rewards.